Feeling moved by Spirit to share with you some further progress and unfolding with the journey regarding illness and resentment and how these teachings —both the Christmind Trilogy and the Way of the Servant, do align perfectly with the
Aramaic Teachings of Yeshua.
Throughout the whole of this year, I have been asked by the Christ Council to go back and re-immerse in the Aramaic Beatitudes. These, I am sharing very gradually, integrating with the current immersion in the Way of the Heart, in a group that I'm facilitating.
Just in the last few days, since the discovery about resentment featuring strongly, I felt a call to return once again to the Aramaic Lord's Prayer (ALP). I have been saying this prayer and been moved by it for 3 years now, ever since I did the immersion with the Way of Mastery. And I would share with everyone here, I strongly, strongly, recommend anyone who feels called by these teachings to familiarise themselves with how the Aramaic Teachings are in perfect alignment to the 'energetic practices' (WOH Lesson One) that Yeshua shares throughout the Way of Mastery: Breath; anything that facilitates a choice to open in breath and just pause; 'rest in the gap' away from the thinking mind; movement; chanting; yoga; dance; laughter; sound; holding and presence, so you can cry, shout, scream, release from the body in a safe holding space you've created, by allowing the light of the 'shem' (Aramaic for the Light in all of Creation).
My discovery on Thursday was greatly aided by going back to the 7th line of the ALP. For those who don't know it, I would like to share with you:-
'OO lah tah-lahn el nees yo-nah ella pah-sahn min beesha'
As you read it, remember all those triggered choice points where you're literally magnetised to doing the same habit, to free yourself from a perceived external source of projected fear?! These are the 'temptations' He's talking about. You will either choose differently and reshuffle the cards so that you can move on, or you will miss the beat and the opportunity will come around again. And, going back to resentment, I recognised just how much it's been running me, it's been my master.
I have 'cleverly cherished' the love I've desired to keep.
Desire is such an elucidating key to practice in, because you can recognise, not only what your desires of the heart are, but more importantly, you can sift out the chaff from the wheat—what your egoic desire patterns have been. You can be amazed at how your desire has brought into manifestation, what ego would consider undesirable, and yet 'takes thought' about its mis-creations from this first key.
This morning I asked:-
"How have I desired 'resentment' to come into being?"
Immediately what arose was:-
"I want to do it myself'"
And I found myself agreeing with the Light of Shem. MYself. What I want to keep, what I believe is mine... my creation, my baby, a creation of a separate self. I felt into 'I want to do it myself' and it had a quality of 'mine', I want it for me... It also had a quality of 'I have to do it myself' because no-one else can do it properly, correctly, or even wants to do it. It felt like a need built out of a priority thought of survival, in a world that's against me. A very good reason to harbour resentment!
Over the last few days as these seeds have been truly allowed to land, my belly has lost pretty much most of its bloating and pain, my headaches have completely gone, I don't feel tired and nauseous, I've felt inspired and rejuvenated and I've learnt an invaluable lesson. It has brought humility, compassion and above all, gratitude.
'But she who praises God in all things
Keeps no decision for herself'
We can learn the priceless lesson, or jewel, that when we truly give all to God, we receive all. If we are not willing, in that context to relinquish desire for resentment—or whatever flavour of separation it may be that’s running us— that context will come again and yet again, until the day that the 'eye of the needle' has become so small, so acute, that we start to recognise,
“Actually, there is no choice really, it is a dead end.”
And doesn’t it take experience of that dead end, to be that extra push required—that alchemical fire— where we choose to surrender? Isn’t what the ego calls ‘death,' actually Life and the primary gateway for rebirth into a whole new sphere of consciousness?
We must come first to that dead end to discover
‘Now is the ripe time’
to truly rest in breath and give up the conflict within.
All quotations are from the Way of the Heart, the Way of the Servant (Book Four) and the Aramaic Lord's Prayer.